your peers call you and "old salt" but you've never been to sea.


you've ever searched the supply room for fallopian tubes.


you pull out a 16-gauge needle, and some Marine passes out.


you head to the Golden Corral after an autopsy.


you can do the job of any rate in the Navy; and do it better.


someone says, "I have IBM." And you ask "What are they treating you with?"


you haven't seen your 782 gear since you checked in.


you get CHT and CHCS confused.


sea duty consists of buildings in foreign lands out of sight of any ocean.


you think it's against the Geneva Convention for you to have to chip paint.


you think an "all hands working party" means everyone but you.


people trust you with their life but not with their car.


your dinner conversations would chase away a cannibal.


the pattern on your pajama's reads PROPERTY OF USNH.


you use sutures to fix your uniform.


you use hemostats to hold a vacuum hose on your car.


you have more medical equipment in your trunk than in your clinic.


your neighbors call you at 3:00 in the morning for a consult.


you use the threat of a lost shot record as a way to get your supplies first.


you think the 3M system is a tape dispenser.


you make marks on each of your hands to differentiate port from starboard.


you think a red cross makes you impervious to injury.


you think inspecting the mess deck means you get free food.


after a sailor's third visit to sickcall in a liberty port, you no longer

warm his procaine penicillin.


there is a thermometer behind your ear and you cannot find your pen.


gifts and household items are made from tongue depressors.


while making love, you are counting your partner's pulse and respirations.


you walk all day long and then have to treat everyone else's blisters.


you use tongue blades as silverware.


you don't need a license to practice medicine.


you watch ER and Chicago Hope with your friends just to point out the



You drain a pilondial cyst and then eat lunch with your wife and talk about

the procedure.